So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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