I faked an abortion last night.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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