I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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