pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize