Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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