I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
