when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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