At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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