The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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