Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
