I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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