Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
