So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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