i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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