dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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