are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
