Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
