how can u be prego again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
