Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
