I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
