Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
