I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
