on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
3 2 1 whiskey
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
