I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
