hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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