dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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