Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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