I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We had to coat check the pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize