forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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