dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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