Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
