Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
