And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
