I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
