Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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