he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
