She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize