I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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