there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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