I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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