Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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