Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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