Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize