1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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