I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
