his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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