i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
