im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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