his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
