Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
