After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
