Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
