Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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