I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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