I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
