I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
