I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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