Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
