god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I cut my penus on the lid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
