i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
