thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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