he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
