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I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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